8 months

8 months....If I were expecting a biological child I would be complaining about my back aching and eating cookies and creme ice cream... Oh wait that is me tonight only I am not expecting. It was 8 months ago today that we conceived our children in paperwork and submitted our application.

Back then, I had no idea of the emotional rollercoaster we would be in for or the toll it would take on me as a person. I remember getting the acceptance letter a few short weeks later stating that the whole process would take 3-6 months depending on how quickly I did my part.

Well, 8 months later, here I sit...still waiting. I have been my normal OCD self and had everything within hours of being asked. Many times having things ready before they asked. And that has done nothing for us. I have stopped trying to figure out the whole process. There really is no rhyme or reason to it. It is completely luck of the draw. Lord knows the rest of my life has been a series of up hill climbs...why should I expect this time to be any different, right?

But, still I keep my chin up and look at the blessings I have in my life. I have my health, my awesome loving husband, I have a supporting family, my sweet dogs, my good job and some of the coolest, awesome people as friends. Some old, some new...but all awesome. Since the beginning of our journey, I have really been concentrating on surrounding myself with positive people. Those who are willing to give unconditionally, as I do. I have been pleasantly surprised at how many people are here. Some that I would never have expected. Most of all I am blessed with my husband. This journey has really made our relationship a much stronger one. He stabilizes me when I get a little to zany and high strung. I don't know how I would have made it through the past several months without him. Those times when I was so frustrated that I was ready to just say "to heck with this", he was there to push me through. He has listened to me talk about murals, decorations, bedding and curtains. He has refinished and painted furniture. He is starting to love these children that we haven't even met yet as much as I do...and for this I love him more!

So for now that is what we do... prepare and wait for our family that we just haven''t met yet...
now I have this song stuck in my head. Which is better than Spiderman,Spiderman (which our neighbor boy Hollister was singing today and I have been singing that ever since). I guess this is better :)

Facebook Game

Everyone who has been on this adoption journey with us for the last 8 months knows that my path to adoption has been a difficult one. This past week my facebook mailbox and many friends status' have been taken over with this stupid game that is severely insensitive to anyone who is going through or has been through the difficulties of infertility. This is something that has bothered me all week. I didn't participate, but I also didn't say anything, because I was thinking it was me just being over sensitive. One of the woman I have met in my adoption networking posted this blog entry in her status a couple days ago...
Regarding Facebook Breast Cancer
I couldn't have worded it better! It was so nice to see that I am not alone! So many women I know and so many that I don't know have also been feeling the same way. With that being said, if you are one of my facebook friends,please do not private message me asking me to participate in something that is a huge reminder of something I have never been able to write or ever will be able write in my status. Thank you!

Want to support locally (Charlotte)... consider supporting Camp Care!
There is a 5K here next weekend that Cris & I are walking in to raise money to send children who have cancer, are in remission or siblings to 1 week of summer camp in Lake Lure. Click here to do support: http://campcare.org/walkathon.php

Couples Therapy

We found out last week that we needed to do a couples therapy session and psychological testing. So that is what we did this evening. After everything is said and done, she said she couldn't find anything of concern, that she was giving us a fabulous positive recommendation and that she didn't see any reason for me to go back! Yay!!! She is going to type up a report and forward it on to our social worker. So let's see what else they can throw at us!!! God, I pray that this is it!

We bought a dresser this weekend and Cris and i painted it red yesterday to match the wall in the Grey and Red room. It came out really nice. I will get pictures tomorrow!
Not much else to report on that!

Bittersweet

Today, I am not really in a good place. Probably one of the most down days I have had thus far.
In our MAPP class we made friends with 2 couples. Leigh Ann and Jerel were approved almost a month ago and now Michelle and Mark. I am so happy for them and so sad for us.
I have friends who are pregnant and friends who are trying to conceive. I guess that is just the stage of our lives. School starting has been the biggest punch to the gut. When we started in January, I had visions of us taking our girl for her first day of school. Here we are almost 8 months later and we have yet to even be approved. I am just bummed and having a complete pity party with myself. Cris is just as upset, but he doesn't even want to talk about it. Enough whining for me. I am still praying that it will happen tomorrow:)

Faith

Faith is all we can have now. Faith that our paper work is making it's way through the proper channels... Faith that we will make the right decision for both ourselves and our children when it comes time for matching....Faith that our children are currently out of harms way, sleeping safely this evening.

Many are already up to speed because of face book, but for those who don't know. Our new Social Worker Monica has been on top of everything. She is getting information on that 9 year old brother and his younger sister. In addition another social worker contacted her about us, because she has a sibling group in Caldwell County. That is about and hour and a half away. We are waiting on more details, but our wait will most likely go into next week, since it is Friday night.

This was a fabulous week of networking with adoptive parents. Monday evening I met up with a group of women from the Charlotte Mommies board. We met up at this cute little ice cream shop called Aloha Snow. Great ice cream and really cute decor...they had ukuleles hanging up all over the walls. The owner is also an adoptive mom.
Yesterday evening I met up in person for the first time with Kim. She is a board member for SPAFA (Southern Piedmont Adoption and Foster Association) She can equipped with so much for me! She gave me a book on how to make a Life Book with our child. I particularly liked that!! Kim is such a phenomenal woman... she has such a passion for the adoption community. Our time together was priceless!!!
I felt instantly like I have a friend who gets it... all of it! The good and the bad. I can tell already that we will become such great friends.

This process has been awesome for opening ourselves up to new people. The people we have let in have become so dear to us so quickly! I am so happy with our life right now.
I know that we will have more ups and downs than we can ever imagine. We will feel joy and sorrow beyond anything either of us has ever experienced...but it just feels right. Like this IS what we should be doing.

So for now I pray and have FAITH that the family we are meant to have will become our family...I am just hoping it is sooner than later...because I have alot of trouble with Patience.

I swore to myself I would stop looking....

I stayed home from work today because my gallbladder flared up again last night. Unfortunately it was self inflected. I went to a friends house for dinner yesterday and she made pot roast. Beef is pretty much an absolute no no for me. Being polite and the fact that it was fabulous, I ate it. But I paid the price all last night

I swore to myself that I would stop looking online at the waiting children's profiles... but I just can't help myself. Today when I checked I expected to see the same group of children that I have views a million and one times. But today a new face appeared. He is a 9 year old Hispanic child whose sister is in the process of becoming legally cleared for adoption and they want to place them together.
Could this be why our process has taken so long? I keep believing that the children we are meant to have we will have. Can I dare hope that these are the children????

Here is Christian's profile: http://www.adoptuskids.org/child/ChildViewNoBanner.aspx?id=41085&sid=11

That would be so cool to have Cristhian and Christian. That will surely mess everyone up! Including me!
I don't have any info on the sister yet.
I emailed my social worker and literally a minute later she responded that she was on it!
She is amazing!!!
So keep us in your thoughts and prayers!!! Thanks ya'll!!

New Social Worker

So physicals are now out of the way. Last evening we met our new social worker. Monica has over 15 years of pre-adoption social work experience. She is very gung ho to get going with this. She thinks are approval should go through any time now and she is working on our Foster Home Application.

She will be the one who helps match us with our future child(ren) We need to send her a good picture of the both of us so that she can make an online profile for us. She is very enthusiastic and says she will really be marketing us heavily. She is quick to respond to emails. I am really hopeful that things will move along quicker now.

Anything else??

What a roller coaster week. First I get an email that I should hear about my approval by Monday and then, oops we need more info...I received an email yesterday saying we needed physicals. So today I went and Thursday Cris goes. I am not sure why they didn't tell me about this earlier. But, I am just going with it.

We have been very busy lately. I started therapy last week and had my second visit tonight. I really like Katherine. She thinks we should be able to tie up what we need to for CHS next week. Yay! We agree that it may be best to hold off on visits until we have our kid(s). Using this as a baseline of my personality, so she has something to compare it to. I got a nice compliment from her. I was telling her how my husband really likes these 3 little hispanic girls. And that I was unsure that we could handle it. She said that I was a very adjusted person and would do great with 3. I am still thinking 2 is best for us.

We meet our new social worker Monica on Friday evening. She is very on top of things! She is very quick to email me back and has had answers to everything I have asked! So I am looking forward to meeting her.
To be safe I called up to Greensboro to CHS home office to make sure they still have all of our photo books. I had to leave a message, so hoping to hear back tomorrow.

So, let's see...what else is going on with our life? We have been hanging out alot with all our neighbors. Which is great! We are really blessed with some fabulous neighbors! We have lived here 3 years, but have stuck to ourselves for the most part until 2 months ago. I went to church with Amy this past week and really liked her church, so I am going to start going there.

Saturday I am hosting book club here :) It will be nice to catch up with all the girls.
I am hoping to have alot more to write soon!

THE MURAL IS COMPLETE!!!

CLICK ON THE PICTURES TO VIEW LARGER!

We are so happy with the room! The final touches will be the bedding and curtains. But I am going to let "Her" pick them out! I will let the pictures speak for themselves!
A Special Thanks to Alex from Portrait-Art-For-Pets-and-Their-People !! What an amazing job!!!

Mural...Ok so not quite done yet, but close

It is getting so close to being done....

I have an appointment set with the new therapist this coming Tuesday after work. I am glad that most therapist have openings in my schedule. I found one that takes my insurance and practices the type of counseling they want me to attend. Before this, I never knew there was such a big difference.

I have been trying to keep myself busy so that I don't think too much about waiting. That just makes me sad.
So, I am organizing a "Vendor Blender" to benefit United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation. I am pretty excited. August 26th I am getting vendors from all kinds of companies to sell their products and donate the hostess profit and/or the consultants profit to United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation I have quite a few vendors lined up already... Creative Memories, Passion Parties, Pampered Chef, Premier Jewelry, Chartruese (eco-friendly products) Thirty One and a Wine Tasting! I am hoping to get a lot more! That is all just in the last day.
I am glad to have something to keep my mind off things.