Sunday, August 17, 2014

It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn

The last 2 times Sweetie was discharged from PRTF's I knew in all my being that a group home was NOT right for her. And we found out I was 100% right. They are not equipped to deal with a child who is gifted with the defense mechanism of manipulation. Immediately they were wrapped up with her sweet smile and childish voice. They voiced many times over the month that they didn't understand why she was there and she didn't need to be in a PRTF. The issue must be me.
In that month she managed to talk staff into buying her 6 inch heels, several inappropriate and a bikini. First, my daughter is 14 and should not be wearing any of those things. Second, my daughter already has everything she needs and most of what she wants ( except for the above items).
In the time was she was there she became more disrespectful and convinced herself that she wanted to live in a group home and did not want a family. She became very vocal about this. She could not understand that it is not an option. Sweetie is still of the mentality that we are just a place where she is passing by.
I am glad she only had to stay there a month. Last Sunday we drove her to he new PRTF in Asheville.
I absolutely loved the facility. It is beautiful and peaceful. As we were driving past the horse barn to her cottage Sweetie said I think I will like living here. We spent about 3 hours with the admission team. I left feeling this was the place where she really could begin to truly heal. I loved her Case Worker. She understands Reactive Attachment Disorder. At one point in the process she looks at Sweetie and said " I am really sorry honey, but you have one really difficult diagnosis, you are going to have to work really hard if you want to get better". Their whole program is different than anything we have worked with before. Instead of the cookie cut out levels system, they have 5 Elements (Water, Fire, Earth, Wind & Spirit),that they work on and the students pick which element to work on. With the exception of Spirit; that has to be last. To my surprise Sweetie picked Fire; which represents anger control and is the most difficult element for her to work on. Sweetie is honeymooning there right now. Which is mostly because everything is unlike anything she has ever dealt with. She has called us every chance she could this week and each time she actually talked to me. She was excited to tell me about the model train building class and her horse Red.
She already likes her therapist and I have agreed to give her therapist Sweeties records, which includes all of the DSS reports that detail a lot of the trauma Sweetie endured. She has blocked so much out of her mind in order to survive. Sweetie has been wanting to see them. I am hoping that she can finally process some of this and finally begin to move forward with her life.
I am feeling at peace about this placement. I am looking forward to seeing how Sweetie begins to grow.