Just when you think it is going to get easier...

The whole time you are going through getting your PPA (Home Study) approved you keep thinking "If I can just get approved, we will be able to get our kids!". 

That was another big misconception we had. There is a new movement in adoption from foster care. They are no longer looking for children for families, but are looking for families for children. I understand the concept behind this and it sounds good on paper. But the reality is it makes the process so much longer. 

And unfortunately some families may never get kids. This was very disheartening to hear.

The process as far as I can tell goes like this... if you find a child's brief online bio you are interested in you tell your social worker, they in turn send your PPA to the social worker f the child. That social worker than has to review all the PPA's of different families and narrow it down to potential families. You can't even get a full bio on a child unless you are picked as a potential family. And for several of the sibling groups we have put in for, over 60 families applied for the same kids...so the chances of getting picked are not great. Not as bad as hitting the lottery, but still 1 in 60 are still pretty crappy odds. :(

What I wonder about is there are thousands of children available for adoption, but less than 200 listed online. How do you get matched with others? There is no one out there looking to help with this process, and being proactive and sending your own PPA out is frowned upon. I am a doer and I am having a hard time leaving the fate of my family in the hands of a social worker that has too many families to get approved and find children for.

So, the sad reality is I don't see our family coming together any time soon. It is very sad. I look at the kid's rooms, that have been sitting there ready for children to be in there. I am sorry I am a downer, but I swore I would be true to the experience...the good's and the bad's. Unfortunately, we are just in the bad spot right now.
For now, I read as much as I can on adoption issues such as attachment and spend time around people I care about. I am so grateful for my fabulous family and friends. Without them, I don't believe we would make it through this process. For now I just pray and have faith that everything is happening how it should.

Special Thanks to Amy for the cd she made with this fabulous song.