Sunday, September 30, 2012

Start again

So Sweetie came home from 10 days of inpatient treatment. Leaving her there was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. But I know in my heart it is what had to happen. I am hoping that this has us on the road to helping her heal. While there she was put on Risperdal which is used to treat bipolar and schizophrenia. It has mellowed her out quite a bit. It gives her a bit of a cushion before she hits her boiling point. Her boiling point is still lower than the average child, but it is still a big improvement. It allows us to actually be able to get past just being mad at therapy to be able to actually participate. We have also been able to actually do home work together. I love helping her on her homework...I am amazed that she is actually letting me help her.
Now we have to start the hard work of working through all her demons, so she can get to a healthy place.
There will be many hard times to go through this with her. But she will not be there alone. I will be there.
No matter how awful it gets. I will not lie and say that I do not get frazzled at times. Lord knows, there are times I am wondering how I am going to do this and I doubt that I will ever be enough. But then there is that quick moment of hope. The times like when she ask me to read her a bed time story makes it worth it.
She never had those moments of bonding as she was growing up so we are doing it now. These are also the moments I missed getting to have with a young child. So this is a good thing for both of us.

This week should be a big week for us. Our petition for adoption was filed Friday. We are aiming to finalize Wednesday! I am hoping that now that Sweetie will have a permanent family to call hers will give her a sense of stability that she needs so desperately. One of the neat things that they do is reissue a birth certificate with us as her parents. Sweetie thought that was pretty cool. She hasn't really said anything about the adoption lately, she acts like it isn't that big of a deal. But tonight when I tucked her in she asked "It's Wednesday that is adoption day, right?". I told her we hoped so and I would know tomorrow. She said she hoped so too.
So hopefully this Wednesday we will officially be a family... even though in my heart we have been a family since the first phone call.

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