Saturday, January 25, 2014

We Remain

When I started thinking of being an adoptive mom I had no idea that I would become a warrior. When one thinks of a mother they usually think of kind, loving, nurturing. Not tough, exhausted and aggressive. Being a mom in general is hard, but being a mom of a child with any special needs requires you to become a soldier. You learn to endure almost anything. You  develop a crazy amount of patience. You learn to fight and I mean really battle to meet the needs of these kids. It may be researching for months, hunting down medications, fighting the schools for a good IEP or battling the insurance companies to get necessary treatment. All while trying to manage the rest of your life and not look like you have completely lost it. It can be exhausting and too often you feel absolutely alone. But you are not alone. There is a whole army of warrior mommas who are in the trenches with you. Although our battles are different and we each have our area of combat specialty, we are all battling everyday for our kids. I have been so unbelievably blessed to personally know many of these beautifully fierce women. They are mom's of kids with attachment issues, severe mental health issues, sensory processing issues, cancer, cerebral palsy, mitochondrial disease, deaf, autistic, HIV, dyslexia, cleft palates, spina bifida, down syndrome, children who had strokes and children born extremely prematurely. There are so many individual and complex issues that each of these beautiful, strong women battle with their children each day.  Even though each child's needs are unique, many of battles warrior moms face are the same. We often go without meeting our own needs, whether that be missing a meal, skipping a shower because you are simply just to tired when you finally get to sit down at 11:00 at night and most are sleep deprived. We have lost "friends" and given up dreams. We know the pain of being criticized behind our backs and also being told to give up to our faces. At times, we can feel as if I can not go on another moment longer. But then, one of our fellow warrior moms comes along side of us and lifts us up and helps carry the load for a while. Sometimes, it can be a kind word, a hug, a meal or a prayer. Other times it is showing up with a bottle of wine, doing your dishes or offering to babysit so you can get a rare date with your husband. We cry together in our dark times, we laugh at crazy things and we celebrate victories. We understand that even the smallest victory is still a Victory! We hold our fellow warrior momma's close to our heart. We feel their pain, we understand. We understand that each of us has sat down at sometime and thought " what did I do?" or "I just can't do this". We have stared defeat straight in the face on more times than any of us care to admit. But we have also experienced a joy that can not be put into words. We have strength that only overcoming obstacles can bring. This evening I have spent a long time reflecting on each of the amazing warrior moms I have come to know. Many in person and I proud to call friends. Some, I know only through social media. I am grateful for each and every single warrior mom. You are amazing and you inspire me each day. I have so much love in my heart for each and everyone of you. No matter what comes our way We Remain.

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