Thursday, January 29, 2015

Love Never Fails

Love is patient, love is kind. A popular reading at weddings. I even used it at my own wedding. The words are sweet and are a wonderful guide for any marriage. But these words are even more important when parenting a child from tough places. Some aspects are easier than others for me to live out with my relationship with Sweetie. But what I am really struggling with is keeping record of wrongs. The trauma that has occurred to us as a family over the last 3 years has really built up and created a stress response in me. The minute Sweetie begins to raise her voice or get oppositional, I go into defense mode. As much as I know in my mind that this does not help anything to react, but it is a subconscious reaction. I pray that I can overcome this response, so that I can be the parent that Sweetie needs. And even though her healing has many seasons of growth and setbacks, I believe that Love Never Fails and that some day she will find healing. It may not be immediate but I do believe that it will be.

I am looking forward to the new phase of our life. Bringing a baby into our home will bring so much hope and love. I know there will be challenges. But we are up to the challenges. Things are going as good as possibly can with the adoption. The Indian Tribe has given official word that they will not be contesting the adoption. Our baby's birth mom married her high school sweetheart and he has already signed consent for the adoption. At this point the only unknown is the birth father. He is still MIA and that is fine. Most likely he won't show and an ad will have to be run in the news paper to try to locate him. But even if he does show and contest the adoption, he won't be able to get custody because he has not been there during the pregnancy to support the birth mother. We have proof that he is aware of the pregnancy, so our bases are covered there. I have been seeing the birth mom at least once a week. It has been really nice to get to know her and her son.
This past week, she also did preliminary paperwork for the adoption and worked on her birth plan.
She listed the baby's name to be exactly as we are going to name him, including our last name.
Her birth plan includes me being in the OR with her during her C-section and then the baby will be handed to me. The baby will be in a room with Cris and I, while she will be in another room down the hall. At this time she does not want to see the baby at all for a couple months. After that we plan to have communication. I know this will be hard on her, but I believe she has comfort with us as parents.

I am still blown away that our dream of having a baby is becoming a reality. After we had given up all hope of being able to adopt again, God has given us this amazing gift. This has been an amazing whirlwind of events that have brought us to this place and has provided the means for this adoption to happen. We are so grateful for all who have supported us and showered us with love and support. Showing us that Love Never Fails.

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