Nervous

So today (like I do every other Friday) I called my social worker to check on if there is any change in status. She says "Oh yeah, I was going to call you to set up an appoinment for next week". I am thinking Yay! We are getting our approval. So I say is this a good or bad thing. She responds with it is just a thing... there is something with your application but I prefer to talk to you in person. We set an appt up for Monday evening. I have no clue what could be up with my application...they have been processing it since the beginning of June.
She was in her car and was getting a bad signal so we had to hang up.
After a little while of internalizing I have myself all worked up.
If we don't get approved I am going to lose it. I have tried to stay so positive through everything...all of my infertility issues, my hysterectomy...but not now. Not with everything we have been going through to get to this point. I will just be devastated if this doesn't go through. I hate that she left it like that. What is it that she could not tell me over the phone or by email? I am hoping this is just a bit of me over reacting and nothing major. I emailed her asking if there was any way she could give me a heads up about what it is regards to. I haven't heard back. :( I am just bummed!

6 months today

It's been 6 months today since our application was accepted to adopt. 

The waiting is getting to be horrible. I am doing my best to keep my thoughts positive, but I worry about our child every day. Is she ok, is she safe, is she sad? So many thoughts going through my head.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywherei go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
a poem by ee cummings

Swirls :)

Even though it is the 4th of July, Alex came to work on the mural today. She did some really cool Swirls to tie the shades of blue together as well as added pistons to the flowers. I just love it!!! (click on the pictures to view larger)

I also added some of the blue to the molding of the dresser to tie it together. Yay!!

I am really hoping to hear something in the next week or two. On Wednesday it will be 6 months since we started the process.

We had a really nice weekend. Saturday we had a party to celebrate the 4th. Yesterday I spent the day at the pool and today we got to spend part of the day on the lake on a friend's pontoon boat.

I am extra crispy from all the sun. Lord knows I apply a ton of sunscreen, but I love to be in the water so it doesn't stay on for long

Progress on her room :)

Alex  from Portrait Art For Pets And Their People came to paint some more yesterday I love how things are coming together! Yay!!!

Today was a good day of collecting donations for the Rock The Walk for Mitochondrial Disease. I was able to get $100 my first day! A special Thank You to Dr. G, Karen C and an anonymous donor!!! I was really excited to see that! Just $400 more to hit my goal!

Here are some pics of the dresser that I painted. I love it!!!!



Waiting, Waiting and Waiting some more.

 

“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.”

So, I have had a rough week. I am not sure why, but I am feeling really down. I am a person that makes things happen. Right now everything is out of my control completely. Which in reality that is probably the way my life is going to go from now on. It has been about 3 weeks since my paperwork went out to Greenbsorro for approval. I ordered my 20 photo profiles that need to be shipped up there as well. They get here Tuesday. Other than that nothing is going on...Alex took a little break from painting. She should start up again this week. That will keep my mind off things as well.

We had new neighbors move in a couple weeks ago and they are wonderful, they have 3 kids, a son who is 12, and 2 daughters that are 10 & 8. They are really some fabulous kids. I am glad they have moved in next door, so when we get our daughter there are really nice kids for her to be friends with.  I enjoy spending time with them as well.

I am reading a lot of books on adoption and raising adopted children. Today I was actually reading about the parallels pregnancy and adoption. How the process of adoption is the equivalent of labor. The author actually refers to it as the labor pains of adoption. It is necessary to have these pains to receive the blessing of the child. I was needing to read that.

Well, I am going to wrap this up and with it I will wrap up this little funk that I am in. I think I need to get into a project or something. Maybe I will paint her dresser or something. If I feel like i doing something that gets me closer to her being here than I will feel better.

more flowers leaves and volunteering

So Alex was here again today :)
We now have more flowers and some leaves...This thing is really coming along and I am so happyyyyyyy!!!

I have really enjoyed working with CHS and have been putting alot of thought into how I can help, so I am submitting an application to become a volunteer for them. Not sure where they will need help, but I am sure I can do something :) I received all my paperwork today and will be mailing it off tomorrow :)

Nothing else new, just waiting.... patiently waiting...ok not so patiently, but I am waiting none the less!

We have flowers!!!

Today Alex started on the flowers...Yay!!!

Weekend Cruise with my neice and more mural progress :)

We left Friday for a cruise to the Bahamas. It was Cris,myself, my brother Dennis, his wife Tina and my niece Taylor. Cris & I went snorkeling in Nassau and did a culinary excursion in Freeport. Which was neat. We learned how to prepare conch salad, conch fritters and cracked conch. It was really all yummy, but our beach portion of the trip was cancelled due to a thunderstorm. It wasn't the best cruise I have been on, but it sure was great for Cris & I to get to spend lots of time with little T! She spent the first night with us and ate most of her meals wedges right between us. We loved it!
I came home to happy puppies and a good portion of the mural done! I am so happy with the progression!
Alex is so awesome!!!
Here are a few more shots of how it looks now!

Mural Progress

Alex is just working away at the mural. It is awesome to watch it evolve and come together.
She did the perspective work which has turn out to be really neat...Mountains and Waterfalls.
And she was able to start painting the sky.

With my family coming in from NY Monday she is going to take a break. She will start up again while we are on our cruise starting next Wednesday! Cris & I are going with my brother Dennis, Sister in law Tina and my niece Taylor. Taylor is 5and we are super excited that she is going with us!

Patience

“The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen.”

This is definitely something I need to work on. I always have. I am a doer...tell me the steps to get what I want and I will do them, no matter how difficult. But waiting...that is another story. This process is really going to help me develop some patience. I heard from my social worker today and the good news is that the Program Supervisor liked my profile and loved our Photo Profile. The bad news is the next step to get approval from the panel can take up to 50 business days.  So we wait... and that is ok, I am just going to have to go with it. 

On another positive note Alex from Portrait Art For Pets and Their People was here today and got started. She is so talented!  Here are a few pictures of the sketches on the wall that she is doing freehand!

She will be coming back tomorrow to start painting!!!!