8 months

8 months....If I were expecting a biological child I would be complaining about my back aching and eating cookies and creme ice cream... Oh wait that is me tonight only I am not expecting. It was 8 months ago today that we conceived our children in paperwork and submitted our application.

Back then, I had no idea of the emotional rollercoaster we would be in for or the toll it would take on me as a person. I remember getting the acceptance letter a few short weeks later stating that the whole process would take 3-6 months depending on how quickly I did my part.

Well, 8 months later, here I sit...still waiting. I have been my normal OCD self and had everything within hours of being asked. Many times having things ready before they asked. And that has done nothing for us. I have stopped trying to figure out the whole process. There really is no rhyme or reason to it. It is completely luck of the draw. Lord knows the rest of my life has been a series of up hill climbs...why should I expect this time to be any different, right?

But, still I keep my chin up and look at the blessings I have in my life. I have my health, my awesome loving husband, I have a supporting family, my sweet dogs, my good job and some of the coolest, awesome people as friends. Some old, some new...but all awesome. Since the beginning of our journey, I have really been concentrating on surrounding myself with positive people. Those who are willing to give unconditionally, as I do. I have been pleasantly surprised at how many people are here. Some that I would never have expected. Most of all I am blessed with my husband. This journey has really made our relationship a much stronger one. He stabilizes me when I get a little to zany and high strung. I don't know how I would have made it through the past several months without him. Those times when I was so frustrated that I was ready to just say "to heck with this", he was there to push me through. He has listened to me talk about murals, decorations, bedding and curtains. He has refinished and painted furniture. He is starting to love these children that we haven't even met yet as much as I do...and for this I love him more!

So for now that is what we do... prepare and wait for our family that we just haven''t met yet...
now I have this song stuck in my head. Which is better than Spiderman,Spiderman (which our neighbor boy Hollister was singing today and I have been singing that ever since). I guess this is better :)

6 months today

It's been 6 months today since our application was accepted to adopt. 

The waiting is getting to be horrible. I am doing my best to keep my thoughts positive, but I worry about our child every day. Is she ok, is she safe, is she sad? So many thoughts going through my head.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywherei go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
a poem by ee cummings

Swirls :)

Even though it is the 4th of July, Alex came to work on the mural today. She did some really cool Swirls to tie the shades of blue together as well as added pistons to the flowers. I just love it!!! (click on the pictures to view larger)

I also added some of the blue to the molding of the dresser to tie it together. Yay!!

I am really hoping to hear something in the next week or two. On Wednesday it will be 6 months since we started the process.

We had a really nice weekend. Saturday we had a party to celebrate the 4th. Yesterday I spent the day at the pool and today we got to spend part of the day on the lake on a friend's pontoon boat.

I am extra crispy from all the sun. Lord knows I apply a ton of sunscreen, but I love to be in the water so it doesn't stay on for long