I should be ecstatic, I met our baby's birth mom! I will call her Ms. J. She is such a sweet soul and I instantly wanted to take her in and protect her. She like myself has experienced great losses in her life. She like me, is not bitter about them. We were both so nervous to meet each other. I know I was a wreck for days. She is very petite with a cute southern drawl. We met her, her 5 year old son, her mama and her mama's boyfriend. They were all very nice to us and welcomed us into their home. I can't really put into words exactly how I am feeling. Yes, I am so excited to have our dream of having a baby become a reality! That part of me makes my heart want to leap out of my chest. But I now have a profound sadness in my heart. I was able to spend several hours with Ms. J and her son. She is such a good mama and it is so obvious how much love she has for him. She is just not in a place in life where she can take care of him and a baby. That is what weighs so heavily on my heart. This is just a young, sweet girl who is doing what is best for both of her children. It really is such a selfless act. One that I can not imagine facing. That takes such amazing strength. A different strength than I possess. I have such love for this young lady already. Not only for choosing us to be the parents of her baby, but because she is worthy of being loved. She was so sweet when I tried to buy her some maternity clothing. She did not want to insult me and not pick something, but she also did not want to take advantage of me either. Most people would have tried to take advantage. But she truly did not.
She goes in for her next check up this Wednesday and hopefully they will do an ultrasound! SO I am hoping in 2 days to know if it is a girl or boy.
I have so much hope for this adoption. I hope for how this baby will make our family whole and I have hope that this will be the first chapter in Ms. J's life that will begin to flourish and thrive. Please continue to pray for us. We are about $2500 off on our fundraising still, but we are getting there. Pray for the health of the baby and for the process to continue to go smoothly. Mostly pray for Ms. J and her sweet son during this time. Let them feel that they are loved.
We meet with our social worker this week and next week and then she can submit our home study. This is so much more organized than our last adoption and I am so grateful for that!. I have so much hope for her and for us.
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