Mural...Ok so not quite done yet, but close

It is getting so close to being done....

I have an appointment set with the new therapist this coming Tuesday after work. I am glad that most therapist have openings in my schedule. I found one that takes my insurance and practices the type of counseling they want me to attend. Before this, I never knew there was such a big difference.

I have been trying to keep myself busy so that I don't think too much about waiting. That just makes me sad.
So, I am organizing a "Vendor Blender" to benefit United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation. I am pretty excited. August 26th I am getting vendors from all kinds of companies to sell their products and donate the hostess profit and/or the consultants profit to United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation I have quite a few vendors lined up already... Creative Memories, Passion Parties, Pampered Chef, Premier Jewelry, Chartruese (eco-friendly products) Thirty One and a Wine Tasting! I am hoping to get a lot more! That is all just in the last day.
I am glad to have something to keep my mind off things.

Hoping The Mural Is Done Tomorrow :)

Alex did lots of detail work this past visit and should finish up tomorrow!!! woohoo!
I am so flipping excited! The pictures really do not do it justice! It is really really amazing. Cris and I just laid in our future daughters bed staring at it for about 30 minutes today. I could and I am sure I will do that alot!
There is so much detail, I imagine our daughter laying in her bed looking at that moon as she falls asleep at night. I just love it!
If you ever need someone to paint a painting or do a mural, Alex is absolutely spectacular!

Here is a link to Alex's facebook page:

Portrait-Art-For-Pets-and-Their-People

I am trying to find a therapist that works with my insurance and also meets CHS's criteria for  a therapist. I think I found someone. I sent an email onto my social worker to make sure they approve of this therapist. I need to call my insurance tomorrow to get preauthorization to see the therapist.
I am also still waiting to hear when we will get scheduled to meet our new social worker!

Almost done with the Mural :)

It was a wicked hot day here in Charlotte! The AC is having trouble just keeping up with the heat.
We are getting down to the final stages of this project which I am very happy about.
We decided not to do the schnauzer in the moon, but rather put it on a sererate wall all together. That area was getting too busy and we still want to do a few more stars.
She is most likely coming back Monday. I will post more pics then. :)

Mural Progress...at least something is moving along!

I got an email today from my SW that they want me to see a therapist that they recommend. Not the one I picked...urgh!!! So now I have to wait on them to tell me to call. I am not happy about this.
But on a good note Alex from Portrait Art For Pets and Their People was here today and knocked out alot of the mural. She is expecting to wrap it up by Sunday! Yay!!!
It is so pretty... here are some pictures!

Therapy- Visit 1

I was fortunate enough to get  in with a therapist this evening for a consultation visit. I really liked her. I start next Friday. I liked her approach. It's not really about hashing out old issues to just relive them..it is more just recognizing what buttins my future child will be able to find to push and creating a way to protect those buttons. That made alot of sense to me. She works with mostly children but does see some adults and specializes in adoption issues. So I think it will be a good thing.
So I start on the 29th. We'll see how it goes :)

Therapy

Well, I do need to go to therapy... Oh Joy...talking about 31 year old crap. I will do what ever I need to. As long as I commit to going they will continue to move forward with the adoption process... so I guess I am going to therapy. The therapist I saw 5 years ago said I had issues with intimacy...not in a toiuchy feely kind of way, I am fine there. Anyone who knows me knows I am a hugger. My short coming is I have come to expect that noone will stick around, so I have become self sufficent and I have learned to survie no matter what. That has come in handy at times. No matter what I survive. I understand that the adoption agency is looking out for the best interest of the child and they want to make sure that my issues are handled before I am forced to deal with someone elses. I am sure after a visit or two, this therapist will say the same thing as the last...that I am ok and dealing with life how I should. It stinks I have to go through the motions. Our SW is very confident that we will be approved and keeps telling me not to worry.

I will be getting a new social worker soon for the child selection process. I am so excited for this to get here.

I am not sure if I wrote this before or not, but Cris and I have decided if they approach us with a brother & sister, we will take both of them. That way we will be done in one shot. I don;t think I could handle going through this again.

On a good note, Alex is coming again Wednesday and says she will finish up by this weekend on the mural! Yay!! That will be so awesome!

Well, that is all  I have for now!

Jumping Through Hoops

Our Social Worker came today. Really only to discuss how I feel about when my bilogical mother died and about where I lived when I was younger. I didn't have too much to say because I was so young.
She then asked if I would be willing to go to therapy if they requested it. Of course I said yes. I will do what ever I need to do. A few years ago I went for a few visita and she tild me I was normal and was dealing with things in a healthy manner. I gave the SW the therapist info, so hopefully that will do.

The SW also mentioned that she was suppose to interview Cris and I seperately. That today would count as my interview. She has to check if it really is mandatory to meet seperately.
If so we will need Cris to get interviewed as well. Anyone who knows my husband knows that his interview will be interesting!

So it looks like we won;t be getting approved anytime in the next couple weeks. Urgh!
I need to concentrate on being patient.

Breathe

Phew I can breathe! I heard back from my social worker! We are not denied! She needs to talk to me more about when my mom died when I was 5 and about the time that I spent living with a foster family.
I don't remember much about that because it was when I was so young.
I feel like the world was just pulled off my shoulders. I have cried so much in the last day, thinking the worst.
I am so blessed with so many wonderful people who have been supporting us through our journey! I am hoping it that this journey will start it's next sgment real soon!
Thank you to everyone that has listened and given support. We love you!

Nervous

So today (like I do every other Friday) I called my social worker to check on if there is any change in status. She says "Oh yeah, I was going to call you to set up an appoinment for next week". I am thinking Yay! We are getting our approval. So I say is this a good or bad thing. She responds with it is just a thing... there is something with your application but I prefer to talk to you in person. We set an appt up for Monday evening. I have no clue what could be up with my application...they have been processing it since the beginning of June.
She was in her car and was getting a bad signal so we had to hang up.
After a little while of internalizing I have myself all worked up.
If we don't get approved I am going to lose it. I have tried to stay so positive through everything...all of my infertility issues, my hysterectomy...but not now. Not with everything we have been going through to get to this point. I will just be devastated if this doesn't go through. I hate that she left it like that. What is it that she could not tell me over the phone or by email? I am hoping this is just a bit of me over reacting and nothing major. I emailed her asking if there was any way she could give me a heads up about what it is regards to. I haven't heard back. :( I am just bummed!

6 months today

It's been 6 months today since our application was accepted to adopt. 

The waiting is getting to be horrible. I am doing my best to keep my thoughts positive, but I worry about our child every day. Is she ok, is she safe, is she sad? So many thoughts going through my head.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywherei go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
a poem by ee cummings

Swirls :)

Even though it is the 4th of July, Alex came to work on the mural today. She did some really cool Swirls to tie the shades of blue together as well as added pistons to the flowers. I just love it!!! (click on the pictures to view larger)

I also added some of the blue to the molding of the dresser to tie it together. Yay!!

I am really hoping to hear something in the next week or two. On Wednesday it will be 6 months since we started the process.

We had a really nice weekend. Saturday we had a party to celebrate the 4th. Yesterday I spent the day at the pool and today we got to spend part of the day on the lake on a friend's pontoon boat.

I am extra crispy from all the sun. Lord knows I apply a ton of sunscreen, but I love to be in the water so it doesn't stay on for long